My dad is SO wise.

  Day 18 - Tell a story from my childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what I remember and how I felt.

My sisters will be the first to tell you that I have the WORST memory when it comes to our childhood. I wish that I could remember more but I just can't!! 

One memory that is VERY clear in my head involves my older sister Andrea. I can't be sure how old we are but I would guess around 6 and 7. 

So....there was this bear. It was LITERALLY the cheapest stuffed bear of all time....like, came from a junky vending machine game cheap.....but I wanted it. And of course Andrea had dibs on it. She IS The oldest after all. 

I just didn't find that fair so I decided that I would have to fight my big sister for it.  And by fight I mean scream and yell until my dad intervened and solved the problem for us. 

The plan was going well....there was the appropriate amount of yelling and crying....but no dad!

Finally my dad called Andrea and I into his room. He asked what the problem was, I explained that there was a stuffed bear that I just couldn't live with out and I didn't think it was fair that Andrea should have dibs on it!!

All of a sudden, my dad asks "who loves the bear more?" I remember being very confused by this question, because it wasn't typical daddy fashion.  Usually my dad would just ask questions like "well who had it first" "who did it belong to"...things like that. (in retrospect, I believe that Andrea DID own the bear and I'm not sure WHY I felt that I should have a claim on it????)

Despite my confusion, I immediately answered "I love the bear the most!!!". After all, I was certain that I DID love the bear the most.

Well, obviously Andrea said she loved the bear the most too. Convenient. I remember being so angry that she thought she could love and want the stuffed bear as much as I did. How dare she!!! WHO does she think she is???

Clearly my dad anticipated this response. His next move was TRICKY. So tricky.

My dad said, "well, if you both love it so much, I'll split it in two and you can each have half."

My response came with no hesitation. I wanted to be the first one to say it and I immediately screamed:

"I GET THE HEAD!!!!!"

I seriously remember picturing the head of the stuffed bear, with stuffing coming out of it, just sitting on my shelf. WHY? WHYYYYYYY? Why would I think that was ok?

Anyway, I was certain that I had the correct and quickest response until I turned to look at Andrea....who was in full on MELT DOWN mode!!! There were tears (I'm pretty sure they were fake), sobs, and possibly even convulsions. In between sobs Andrea was gasping: "Nooooo dad!! NO!! Don't cut it in half!!!!"

And the real kicker: "Dad, Brittany can have it! Just don't cut it!"

Wellllll wouldn't you know that's exactly the answer my dad was looking for?

He explained that obviously Andrea loved the bear more because she didn't want to see it harmed.

OHHHH BOOOOO HOOOO!!!
I was set up. I know it. And I was so angry with myself for answering incorrectly!!

It was only in my later years that I realized my dad played a King Solomon on me!!!

There's a Bible narrative (1 Kings 3:16-28) where two women come to King Solomon claiming to be the mother of a baby boy. After hearing their argument, King Solomon asks for a sword, stating that since an agreement can't be met that he would split the baby in two, giving each woman half.  The false mother finds this solution fair while the true mother finds it horrifying and begs King Solomon to spare her baby and give him to the false mother. King Solomon then awards the true mother with her son.

Clearly that King Solomon was very wise.

And clearly I was NOT the true mother of that bear.

Good one, dad. So wise. 

Me and my wise dad.  He looks reallllllll good in a tux! 

- Brit