"I like to paint my nails"

Day 3 - Things that make me feel uncomfortable -

I think the better question here is things that DO NOT make me feel uncomfortable. That would be a much shorter list.

I am an awkward person. I have friends and I get the feeling that people like me but I'm SO AWKWARD. I've convinced myself that it's a charming quality.

Having said that, I feel uncomfortable and tense in a variety of everyday situations.

A few examples for you:

INTERVIEWS: I'll go ahead and nominate myself for the most awkward interviewee of all time. I just cannot act natural in interviews! In my head, I'm all "ok, you're doing great, you're so confident right now, you're wearing purple and that's your power color, this woman really finds your funny!" and while that's happening, I've MISSED the question and have to ask, "I'm sorry could you repeat that?" And the question is something like "tell us about yourself" which is BY FAR the worst question of all time. And in my efforts to steer clear of all the overused phrases such as "I'm a hard worker." or "I'm trustworthy". I try to think of interesting things but usually come up with things like "I like to paint my nails."

I said that once. We'll just end there.

SAYING NO TO PEOPLE: I have intense anxiety when thinking about having to tell someone "no".  And verbalizing my rejection is even harder than thinking about saying no!!  It's like a wave of panic washes over me and I no longer live in reality and I convince myself that telling them no makes me a bad person and I'll ruin my relationship with them and they'll be sooooo disappointed!!!!!

I'm having a panic attack just thinking about it.

CONSTRICTING SPACES OR CLOTHING: Also known as "claustrophobia". Being confined in any way shape or form is the most uncomfortable thing imaginable to me. Shirts with tight/high necks - absolutely not. Being in a space that does not allow me to extend my legs - not if I can help it. (Obviously this creates a problem while driving. I just try not to think about it.) Bear hugs that last longer than 10 seconds - I will use whatever force necessary to free myself.

One time my church youth group went on a cave exploring adventure. In my mind, I assumed we would walk through a MONSTROUS cave with a sweet helmet on that came with a light and we would look at the bats. Lovely. Count me in. And that's what our cave exploring was for the majority of the time. BUT for a brief period we were required to lay on our stomachs and INCH our way through a space three feet high and it took at least 2 minutes to make it through the entire area.  There was no way around it and I wanted to die. TO THIS DAY I have nightmares about it.

I could keep going but I'll spare you. Plus, the list starts to get a little TMI. This IS the internet, after all. I can't just share my whole life!!! :)

- Brit